The Truth about Becoming a Spy
Perhaps things have gotten so bad with the job market that you have started considering outlandish jobs like becoming a spy. On the other hand, maybe you’ve always been a fan of James Bond films and think it would be cool to have a license to kill. Or, maybe you are just wondering how, exactly you go about becoming a spy. Do you just fill out an application like you would at Starbucks?
In a way, yes, that is exactly what you do.
The Clandestine Service
Of course, the C.I.A., being the C.I.A., does not call spies, spies. The euphemism for “spies” in C.I.A. jargon is the “clandestine service”. There are several jobs within the clandestine service, but if you read between the lines, it is obvious that the clandestine service is actually spying. You spend a lot of time overseas and they expect you to have extensive knowledge of the language and the culture of another country. They expect you to work in “unstructured” environments. You have to be committed to the job as “a way of life”. This all translates to “you are a spoke”.
“Requirements”
I suspect that they would wave most requirements for a really well placed candidate, but the C.I.A. does have some requirements before you can apply for one of their jobs. First, becoming a spy requires you and the person you are married to (if married) be a U.S. Citizen. In this way, the C.I.A. is similar to most other government agencies.
I suspect, however, that if you are well placed in another country, for example if you are the nephew of that country’s vice-president, that you could probably get a job without being a U.S. citizen.
The second requirement is that you have a college degree. Again, for the right candidate I don’t think they much care if you went to college.
For the rest of us, however, these are necessities.
Profile
What else do you need when becoming a spy for the C.I.A.? Well if you are not already somehow connected to another country’s government, then you need to have certain qualities that will allow the C.I.A. to prepare you for the rigors of spy work.
Becoming a spy requires you to have advanced intellectual skills and ease with language. You will need to be able to understand complex situations and have to be able to assess risks in situations where you don’t have all the information you would like. You will need to understand your mission, and how to accomplish it, without the foreign security apparatus discovering you.
Becoming a spy will require you to have mental toughness and the ability to stay focused on a mission even when you have been deep undercover for years. You cannot be the sort of person who gives themselves to causes easily since such a person will lose focus easily as well.
Application Process
As you might suspect, the application process is extensive. You will have to fill out a resume in exactly the way they want you to and submit it according to their specifications. You will have several interviews and they will ask you to take a polygraph test (probably more than once). They will go over your background very carefully. In addition, they will test your mental fortitude and give you a battery of psychological tests to determine your personality type and your motivations for wanting to join the clandestine service.
If you complete this process successfully, you will enroll in their Clandestine Service Training Program where they will prepare you for becoming a spy or weed you out if you don’t really have what it takes.
I would tell you more, but then I would have to kill you. Or to put it another way, I don’t really know what happens after that—we are talking about the C.I.A. after all.